Across the country, when a family loses a loved one during his or her military service, that family becomes known as a Gold Star Family. It’s an honor, but one no one ever wanted. And losing that loved one, missing them, gets harder during the holidays.
So in the effort to fulfill a promise to never forget, Fort Drum is honoring its fallen soldiers this Christmas and one such Gold Star family member is taking that mission personally.
What You Need To Know
- Gold Star Families are families that have lost a loved one during military service
- Ashleigh Carlin is a Gold Star sister, having lost her brother Michael in 2007
- Ashleigh is keeping Michael’s and all fallen soldier name alive by creating fallen soldier Christmas trees and placing them around Fort Drum
“This is Justin Coleman.” Ashleigh Carlin said, holding a Christmas Tree ornament with his name and photo. “His dad lives in Florida and comes up every year for one of the events here on Fort Drum for the fallen and asked if we would take a picture of him on the tree so that his soldier is not forgotten.”
Carlin has spent the last few weeks on Fort Drum, creating special Christmas trees. There are four in all, each in various high-traffic locations on post. Each has dozens of ornaments with the photo of a 10th Mountain Division soldier who gave his or her life in defense of our freedom.
“It’s to ensure our Gold Star Families that they’re not forgotten and their service member’s sacrifice is not forgotten, especially because the holidays are so hard sometimes,” Carlin said.
Because if anyone would know just how painful they can be, with that empty place at the table and around the tree, it’s Carlin.
Her younger brother Michael fulfilled a lifelong dream when, in 2007, he joined the Army. It was the height of the war and he volunteered to deploy to Iraq with a unit he wasn’t even a part of. Just 40 days later, an IED took his life.
“Everywhere we go, we try to make sure that not just his sacrifice is remembered, but all of the others who paved the way before him and who gave life after him,” Carlin said, wearing a wristband with Michael’s name and service on it.
And somehow, some way, the universe just knows. Showing Ashleigh just how powerful this all is, that no one on these trees would ever be forgotten, by giving her sign after sign.
“This is Justin Davis. He is buried about two rows behind my little brother at Arlington National Cemetery,” Carlin said holding Davis’ ornament.
“As we were putting the ornaments together, I came across Justin’s name and face. I didn’t realize that I was going to be doing his name and face. I reached out to his mom and some of those special moments where it all just pulls together, it’s just really amazing.”
Just a short time later, without knowing it, Ashleigh pulled out these two ornaments. Private First Class Byron Fouty and Specialist Alex Jimenez. Also back in 2007 these two soldiers became missing in action, prisoners of war after an attack in Baghdad.
After a massive manhunt that went on for a year, they were eventually found after being murdered by the Taliban. Two lives, forever intertwined, together again on this tree.
“It just shows that this is important work and there is meaning behind it,” Carlin said of these ‘coincidences’, that kept happening as she decorated this particular tree. “There is purpose behind it. It’s just meant to be.“
No family would every choose to become a Gold Star Family, but for far too many, it’s reality. For Carlin and many others, the holiday season is a time to remember and honor those families, as well as those they have lost.
“It brings a sense of closure. It’s a part of the healing process. It’s a part of the grief process. It helps your soul, really,” Carlin said of knowing memories were being kept alive.
The four trees can be seen at the Noncommissioned Officer Academy, Clark Hall, the Family Resource Center and Hays Hall, one at each location, each with different photos.
